Are You (Probably) Deluded?

If you believe that Israel is going to disarm any time soon (because of some false promises by the Antichrist), you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the European Union constitutes a revived Roman empire, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the curse on the serpent in Genesis 3: 14-15 is a prophecy of Jesus' defeat of Satan and you believe you are a Biblical literalist, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the U.S. Constitution created a government based on the absolute laws of the Bible, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe George W. Bush never lied as president because you believe he is a Christian and a lying Christian is impossible, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Bible is the literal and inerrant word of an all-knowing God, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Koran is the literal and inerrant word of an all-knowing Allah, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Atlas Shrugged is the literal and inerrant word of an all-knowing Ayn Rand, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Atlas Shrgged was Ayn Rand's blueprint for the New World Order, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that the present time in history is the first time that many people have run to and fro and knowledge has been increased (Daniel 12: 4), you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Moses and Thutmosis must have been the same person because of their similar names, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Moses and Ahmosis must have been the same person because of their similar names, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe RuPaul and Ron Paul must be the same person because of their similar names, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Dr. John Coleman, British-born conspiracy nut, and John S. Coleman, alleged by Gary Allen to be an American member of the Bilderberg Advisory Committee, must be the same person because of their similar names, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that success for the "Holocaust denial" movement might lead to a slavery denial movement, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that what you are doing at midnight on New Year's Eve is what you're going to be doing the rest of the following year, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Screaming Egos make better music than the Blazing Bozos, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believed that Y2K was going to lead to a cashless society, you were (probably) deluded.

Jesus as Shyster

Some writers have called Jesus a rabbi. And Lenny Bruce said "rabbi means lawyer." But to judge from the Gospel of John 8:12-20, Jesus was not simply a lawyer; he was a shyster.
Here is the relevant quotation, in which Jesus debated with the Pharisees:

"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
"The Pharisees therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.
"Jesus answered and said unto them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go.
"Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.
"And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me.
"It is also written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true .
"I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.
Then they said unto him, Where is thy Father? Jesus answered, Ye neither know me nor my Father; if ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also.
"These words spake Jesus in the treasury, as he taught in the temple: and no man laid hands on him; for his hour was not yet come."

When Jesus said, "It is also written in you law, that the testimony of two men is true," he was
referring to the Mosaic law that can be found in Deuteronomy 17:6: "At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death."
Much of what Jesus said in his debate with the Pharisees was simply unproven assertion. Insofar as he had an actual argument, it basically boiled down to this: Mosaic law requires two witnesses to prove something true. He and the Father that sent him were two witnesses that he was the light of the world. Q.E.D. Jesus was the light of the world.
Jesus' citation of the Mosaic law--"your law," as he put it to the Pharisees--may have been an effective debating gambit. The Pharisees were probably in no position to challenge that law. But it should be obvious that the law in question is not the expression of any objective truth, but is only an abitrary rule of thumb, at best.The idea that to have two witnesses, instead of just one, making the same claim, is always going to lead to the truth is absurd and ridiculous. It is entirely possible for two or more witnesses to agree, but to be mistaken, or maybe even lying.
Furthermore, Jesus claimed the Father that sent him as his second witness, but the Father that supposedly sent him never testified to the Pharisees on his behalf. From the Pharisees' point of view, Jesus had only one witness, himself.
All in all, Jesus' argument, insofar as he had any argument, was completely specious. That he relied on such a specious argument shows that Jesus was a shyster and not a god, unless, perhaps, a god can also be a shyster.

Lucifer's Lexicon

CHRISTIAN ANARCHIST, n. One who loves his enemy, the State.

EXCOMMUNICATE, v. Formerly, to exclude from the mass. Now, to exclude from the mass media.

HAJ, n. The annual Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca, aka Allahpalooza.

INDISPUTABLE, adj. That cannot be disputed, according to someone who doesn't want it disputed.

MOSES, n. The Lawgiver, who proved with regard to law that it is better to give than to receive.

OBJECTIVIST, n. One for whom the golden calf is a sacred cow.

RIGHTEOUS GENTILE, n. A useful idiot. It is possible that George W. Bush was the most righteous Gentile of our time.

RUSSELL, CHARLES TAZE, n. A man who went from haberdashery to balderdashery when he organized the group now known as Jehovah's False Witnesses.

SKINHEAD, n. One who shaves his head and is either a racist or antiracist bigot.

SURGICAL STRIKE, n. An accidental bombing of a hospital's operating room.

WHITE SUPREMACIST, n. Anyone so designated by a Rainbow Supremacist.

Are You (Probably) Deluded?

If you believe Elvis Presley faked his own death so he could become an underover narc and you believe Elvis has called you on the phone to tell you to keep up the good work writing books claiming he's alive, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe there're no such things as the Bilderberg meetings, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Bilderbergers are all-powerful, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Alex Jones' "inside information" about the Bilderbergers, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the word "teenager" was never used until shortly before the Beatles arrived in the US, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe rock and roll was the creation of a British conspiracy, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believed circa 1965 that the fall of South Vietnam to the Communists would result in the Pacific Ocean becoming a "Red lake," you were (probably) deluded.
If you believed circa 1965 that by 1970 at the latest the Soviets would invade the US, you were (probably) deluded.
If you believed before 1989, or still believe, that by the very nature of Communism it was impossible for the Communists to ever abandon the goal of world conquest, you were, or are, (probably) deluded.
If you believed in 1941 or thereafter that FDR really had a map showing the Nazis' secret plans for reorganizing South America, you were (probably) deluded.
If you believe/believed that Saddam Hussein was involved in the 9/11 attacks, you are/were (probably) deluded.
If you believe "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen was the most wonderful record ever released, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is an authentic document, you are (probably) deluded.
If you make excuses for the "sins" of your ancestors, such as slavery, by saying that you can't judge the past by present-day standards, and yet you believe you are not a moral relativist, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the eight years of Bill Clinton's presidency were eight years of peace, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe everyone in the rest of the world loved and respected the US before George . Bush became president, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the members of the Bush II Administration have ever publicly told the truth about the real reasons they invaded Iraq, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Michael Jackson meant it when he sang, "iI doesn't matter if you're black or white," you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Paul McCartney is dead, you are (probably) deluded.
Etc., etc., etc.

Are You (Probably) Deluded?

If you believe there is a Committee of 300, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Queen Elizabeth II is the head of the Committee of 300, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Queen Latifah is the head of the Committee of 300, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that Theodor Adorno wrote all of the Beatles' hit songs, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that Kurt Lewin wrote all of the Rolling Stones' hit songs, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that Dr. John Coleman wrote all of the Village People's hit songs, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe George W. Bush was Tony Blair's poodle, rather than vice versa, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the British monarchy is descended from the pharaohs, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe George Washington was a 33rd-degree Mason, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe most of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were Masons, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe most of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were clergymen, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Global Elite is planning to kill off 80-90% of the world's poplation, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe JFK was assassinated because he gave a speech warning against secret societies, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Nazis literally won World War II, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Otto Skorzeny was a Holocaust mastermind, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Nazis used fluoride on concetraton camp prisoners to keep them under control, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Adolf Hitler's book, "Mein Kampf," spelled out a blueprint for world conquest,
you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe UN troops are one block away from where you live in the US and are coming right now to grab your guns, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Alex Jones is accomplishing anything more than entertaining you when he has himself filmed or videotaped shouting defiantly at Bilderberg meeting attendees through a bullhorn, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believed that Ron Paul was going to win the 2008 presidential election, you were (probably) deluded.
If you believed Hillary Clinton was sure to win the 2008 presidential election because she was David Rockefeller's choice, you were (probably) deluded.
If you believe it can be shown by check stubs that Prussian philosopher Hegel was in the pay of Austrian Minister of State Metternich, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the tribes of Manasseh and Dan joined forces to become the Macedonians, Macedanians, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the tribes of Manasseh, Gad and Issachar joined forces to become the Madagascarians, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Jesus really lived at th time of Moses, you. are (probably) deluded.
If you believe I killed your Jewish relatives in Europe during the Holocaust and I am now claiming they died from typhus to try to deny my guilt, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Ronald Reagan, as governor of California, balanced that state's budget by cutting taxes, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Ronald Reagan, as president, showed that deficits don't matter, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe George W. Bush restored honor and integrity to the White House, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Bush II Administration invaded Iraq because they sincerely morally disapproved of dictators who torture and kill people, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe FDR sincerely hated war, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Saddam Hussein's WMD were moved to Syria, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe you can't negotiate with terrorists, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Arabs own Hollywood, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Rupert Murdoch is a Jew, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Ahmedinejad, president of Iran, has threatened o wipe Israel off the map, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe the Israeli attack on the USS Liberty was accidental, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe John McCain is an expert on history, war, foreign policy, etc., You are (probably) deluded.
If you believe that in war there are only teo possibilities, defeat or victory, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe isolationiam led to World War Two and, therefore, isolationiam is absolutely, universally wrong, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Barack Obama is the Antichrist, you are (probably) deluded.
If you believe Barack Obama is the Messiah, you are (probably) deluded.
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Dr. Mark Hitchcock and Ezekiel 38 and 39

On December 18, 2oo8, I posted "Some Question for Premil Dips," concerning a couple of points about Ezekiel 38 and 39. I asked premil dips (premillenial dipsensationalists) to explain why, if the prophesied attack on Israel led by Gog of Magog was a prophecy about our future and not a false prophecy about ancient times, the attackers depicted in the pophecy are all riding on horses and carrying only ancient weapons..
Since then I've found an article by premil dip Dr. Mark Hitchcock, "The Battle of Gog and Magog," on the Pre-Trib Research Center website. Although Hitchcock doesn't explicitly address the question about the horses, he does address the issue of the weapons. Hitchcock has thought of two possible explanations.
"First it is possible that due to some form of disarmament the nations will resort to primitive weapons that can be constructed secretly and easily if a surprise attack were to be successfully achieved."
Well, this might be possible--Hey, anything's possible!--but it seems extremley farfetched to me. Hitchcock, I suppose, is thinking of disarmament imposed upon the nations (by the Antichrist?). Otherwise why would they want to secretly arm themselves? But when Germany, with Russian cooperation, evaded the Versailles treaty's restrictions on German armaments, it didn't resort to producing primitive weapons. Why couldn't present or future nations evade imposed disarmament by producing modern weapons? Why would they have to resort to producing primitive weapons? In any case, I, for one, will believe that nationa are going to disarm whn they actually disarm.
Here's Hitchcock's second possible explanation for Ezekiel's depiction of armies attacking Israel, supposedly sometime in our future, with nothing but ancient weapons.

"Second, the ancient weapons mentioned could be understood as their modern counterparts. While no view of the nature of the weapons is without problems, this is probably the best view. Ezekiel, inspired by the Holy Spirit, spoke in language that the people could understand. If he had spoken of planes, missiles, tanks, and rifles this text would have been nonsensical to everyone until the twentieth century. Moreover, the main point of Ezekiel's great prophecy is that a specific group of nations will attack Israel intent on completely destroying her. The focus is clearly not the specific weapons that will be used by these invaders. Ezekiel communicates in the only way that he can the powerful and well-equipped nature of the invaders."

Hitchcock says, "The focus is clearly not the specific weapons that will be used by these invaders." But if so, then why include a list of specific weapons at all? Hitchcock says, "Ezekiel communicates in the only way that he can the powerful and well-equipped nature of the invaders" But this is not the only way that Ezekiel could have communicated that point. He could have just said that the invaders would be powerful and well-equipped, couldn't he?
It's true, as Hitchcock says, that if Ezekiel had spoken of planes, missiles, tanks and rifles, the text would have been nonsensical to everyone until the 20th century, but only assuming Ezekiel didn't bother to explain that he was naming weapons that would not exist until sometime in the far distant future. Why couldn't Ezekiel have added such an explanation and made it clear that he was prophesying about events thousands of years in the future, if that was what he was actually doing?
Hitchcock says, "Ezekiel, inspired by the Holy Spirit, spoke in language that people could understand." But if, as the premil dips claim , Ezekiel was prophesying about events thousands of years in the future, then he used language that could not have been correctly understood by people in ancient times. People in Ezekiel's time could not have understood the prophecy to be about events in the far distant future precisely because the words Ezekiel used made it, and still make it, look like a prophecy about ancient times.
I'd like Hitchcock or any other fundamentalist prophecy freak to explain why the allegedly all-knowing and all-powerful God you believe in couldn't have gone to a little bit more trouble to make it clear that Ezekiel's prophecy was not about ancient times, but about the far distant future, as you believe. Why didn't the Holy Spirit inspire Ezekiel to state clearly that the events in the prophecy would occur thousands of years in the future? Why didn't Ezekiel say that, therefore, the weapons of the invaders would be weapons that didn't yet exist, but would exist only in the far distant future?
My opinion is that God (assuming God actually had anything to do with it) didn't bother to go to that little bit of extra trouble because the prophecy was, just as it appears to be, a prophecy about ancient times. Unfortunately for premil dips and other fundamentalists, that means it was a false prophecy.

Ode to Emperor Bush

Emperor Bush was quick on the draw
To enforce his self=made version of "law."

Emperor Bush was fast with a gun.
He shot before the fight had begun.

Emperor Bush liked preemptive strikes,
Like Hitler and paranoid Zionist kikes.

Emperor Bush invaded Iraq
To prevent--or provoke-a new terror attack.

War was Emperor Bush's last choice.
It was also his first, so neocons rejoice.

Emperor Bush was in a big hurry.
He went to war saying, "What, me worry?"

Emperor Bush had to attack.
He'd've got blue balls if he'd had to hold back.

Emperor Bush saved us from Hussein
And his terrifying toy airplane.

Emperor Bush saved us from Saddam
And his nonexistent nucular bomb.

Emperor Bush was the Lone Ranger
Saving us from imaginary danger.

Emperor Bush--it's no mystery.
A great misleader's how he'll go down in history.