Lucifer's Lexicon

ACAPULCO GOLD,n. The possible basis for a commodity-money system that could be called the Acapulco-Gold standard.

ANTI-GENTILISM, n. Talmudslinging.

EPISTLE, n. A letter attributed to an apostle.

EUROPEAN UNION, THE, n. The current candidate for the role of "Revived Roman Empire" allegedly prophesied by Daniel, in the ever-evolving end-of-the-world-is-near propaganda of the premillenial dipsensationalists. But as should be obvious to anyone who isn't blinded by faith, the European Union, whatever it might be, is not a revived Roman Empire.

GOD'S LAW, n. The code of law that Utu, the sun god, gave to the Sumerian king Ur-Nammu.

HOLY FATHER, THE, n. The head of a church that worships Jesus, who reportedly said "Call no man on earth your father...." (Matthew 23:9)

IN FACT, In someone's unproven assertion.

JAHMAICA, n. The original home of the Rastafari movement.

LAHAYE, TIM, n. A premillenial dipsensationalist who makes real profits by lying about false prophets.

LAVON AFFAIR, THE, n. The political scandal in Israel which resulted from the failure of an Israeli conspiracy in Egypt. The conspiracy, Operation Susannah, involved Egyptian Jews who were working for Israel planting firebombs in US and British buildings in Cairo in 1954, with the intent of blaming the bombings on Arab terrorists and souring relations between Egypt, on the one hand, and the US and Britain, on the other. This is just one of the many reasons why Israel is so widely regarded as the US's best and most reliable ally in the Middle East.

MAD SCIENTIST, n. One of whom it might be said that there is scientific method in his madness.

MARILYN MONROE DOCTRINE, THE, n. The foreign policy doctrine enunciated by president
John F. Kennedy whereby he warned foreign leaders to keep their hands off of Marilyn Monroe.

OPEN BORDERS, n.pl., Hispanics Unlimited.

POLLUTER, n. A rich looter.

PROPERTY TAX, n. The rent paid to the supreme landlord, the government.

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, n. A sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.

SERIAL KILLER, n. A murder addict. According to conspiracy theorist Michael Hoffman II, the term "serial killer" is heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "cereal killer," suggesting human sacrifices to the pagan goddess Ceres. The following are some questions that I've addressed to Hoffman that he has not answered: Is "mass murderer" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "mass [i.e., communion or the Eucharist] murderer," suggesting human sacrifices to Jesus Christ? Is "parish priest" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "perish, priest," suggesting the telling of a priest to die? Is "lone assassin" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "loan assassin," suggesting a killer working for the Bankers? Is "missile attack" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "missal [prayerbook] attack," suggesting a Christian religious war? Is "sleigh bells" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "slay belles," suggesting an order to kill popular, attractive girls or women? Is "genocide" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "Jennacide, " suggesting the killing of someone named "Jenna"? Is "Deliverer" [i.e., Savior] heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "de-liverer" [i.e., remover of one's liver], suggesting the liver-eating eagle Zeus used to punish Prometheus? Is "Dachau" heard in the unconscious Group Mind of the masses as "Doc, ow," suggesting painful medical atrocities? Etc., etc., etc.

ZIONISM, n. Out of the ghettoes and into the Ghetto State.